Negative to Positive

I AM NOT PREGNANT! if that is what you think of when you read the title! Just to make it clear, it'll be just another story guys. Sorry if I just ruined your expectation. :p

It was New Year's Eve, I went to meet up with my friend from Brisbane and drove my sister to her friend's place where she would spend her last day in 2011. So I prepare myself, tidied up a bit, put on some make up, standard routine when a girl wanna go out. I was excited about New Year's Eve, couldn't wait til midnight and watch the whole fireworks in my neighborhood.

Here's the weird thing, there was a moment when I looked into myself inside the mirror and I hated it, I hated how I look like (which was how I normally look like, with some make up on), my make up suddenly felt so heavy (which was unusual, cos I put normal amount of make up like usual, even lighter than my office-look). I didn't understand and still trying to figure out what happened in my head on that day.

What's going on? Do I put on some make up simply to make myself look better and tidier and more professional? Why do girls put on some make up? So the world couldn't see their imperfections? Or simply to cover up all the wounds that are invisible? Do they put on make up because they feel insecure? because they don't want people to see how fragile they are? because they don't want people to see their flaws?

The truth is, I don't know....

I used to love staring at myself in the mirror, even without make up, not to be proud and arrogant, but I love the way I am and the way I look (yes, I am a bit of a narcissist)! I love watching myself smiling and laughing for no reason cos I like it! I like my smile, and how I look like when I'm happy. So what happened to that girl in the mirror? I just hopefully wished that she hasn't forgotten how to smile and laugh from her heart.

RIGHT! So the count down to 2012 was happening, fireworks were everywhere!! It felt like a war to be honest! the explosions, the sound, It was like the enemies were bombing us! Anyway, I went out with my mum, we had a walk around our complex and the neighbors fired out LOTS of fireworks. That was the time I should feel excited! I should, right?! I'm a HUGE fan of fireworks!! But I didn't! I have no idea what got into me that night, I was in another dimension, my thought wasn't there, people kept wow-ing and clapping during the fireworks 'show' but I just walked quietly and I was silent! For those who know me well, that night was a kind of time where I would be jumping all around and hugging people around me and shouting HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone. But there I was, being highly anti-social, did some handshakes and smile and small happy new year greeting. WHAT'S GOING ON WITH ME??!!!!

So, I decided to call my friends in Brisbane, to say happy new year again, and also because I know they love me for who I am and I know I can count on them whenever I'm feeling down. and that was just what I needed! a bunch of awesome crazy people who know me well enough and know exactly how to lighten up my gloomy feelings! (If you guys are reading this, I'd use this opportunity to thank all of you! I love you guys!!)

What exactly happened then? I still don't know and I'm yet to find out, but the truth is, I don't care.

It was new year, it was a perfect time to put all the negatives behind and embrace all the positives!

I'm aware that those emotional roller coaster will come to me again anytime in the future, but let's not be so negative.

"Start your day with a smile and may happiness follows you for the rest of your day"

xoxo

Ms. A